Thursday 23 February 2012
Clubbing - A debate
Music is a fabulous thing. I am one of those people who can ease a fantasy into any song to accompany me on a walk/bus journey/train ride and think it's a bit awesome to just let Shuffle do it's thing. Unless an Eiffel 95 song creeps in - I really need to go through my iTunes. The world can appear a lot more colourful with music in your ears which is why clubs do so well. Apart from the workout and the eyecandy - which, coincidentally, contradict each other in a lovely way. Sweaty from dancing + Trying to attract a mate rarely succeeds to = lasting relationship. Anyway, apart from that, clubs aren't nice places, they are smelly in new and fabulous ways since the smoking ban came into play and not just from the aforementioned drug/alcohol fueled workout sweat but also from the week-old spills and throw ups and the mix of colognes and perfumes which couldn't compliment each other if they tried. And they don't try. Then there's the drink prices - in London I have a mini heart attack whenever I order a drink, unless I'm in Wetherspoons, which I rarely find myself in nowadays, simply cos there are enough perves in London without actively seeking them out. Saying that, there is a nice one in Bromley, but it was only nice because of the eye candy.
I need a new word for eye candy. Sight pleasers? Lookers? Lickables?
Anyway. Third thing about clubs would be the bouncers. Bouncers, in my experience, are only nice if you work with them. Or they're that particular bouncer working a Dita Von Teese night I went to a while back, who lent me his snood in the middle of the night and his card at the end. Should really give him a google - which is the modern pre-empt to the phone call. Generally, though, bouncers are just a bit mean, and make you feel like a criminal drug addict when what you are is in fact a slightly intoxicated, very loud, quite giggly thespian with a mobile and no signal. Very, very different things. Worst of all about clubs is the toilets.
Saying that, I bloody love them I do. And I will continue to party in a way that certainly isn't as romantic as a 1950's ballroom or a Salsa night but just as sexy and a little less co-ordinated. And I wouldn't have to wear heels.
Monday 13 February 2012
Approach with Caution
I have approached many things in my life with an approach that reflects the approach of a kleptomaniac on a 99p shop while her mother watches her. It's perfectly logical to think that she will do what is expected and simply go in and purchase the 99p bag of Minstrels (which go out of date in two days but hell knows they ain't gonna last that long) using a £1 coin that litters her purse.... but we all know she really wants to go crazy and pocket those Minstrels and two rolls of bubblegum without going through the necessary and expected motions of her peers, fleeing the shop with her stolen goods, an ill-gotten thrill and a weird pride at her undeserved gain.
This metaphor is summarizing my feeling of frustration that I haven't got to where I want to be quick enough, but at least I know when I get there, it'll be worth it. WHEN.
And I don't have any Minstrels.
This metaphor is summarizing my feeling of frustration that I haven't got to where I want to be quick enough, but at least I know when I get there, it'll be worth it. WHEN.
And I don't have any Minstrels.
Tuesday 7 February 2012
Tuesday Ramble
I'm going to blog more from now on.
If someone said the "sun would set for you".... are they being romantic? Or saying you shouldn't be seen in daylight for the safety of all mankind? Ponder on that.
Let me tell you about a friend of mine. He is one of my best friends and one of my favourite people, which don't have to be the same thing. His sarcasm far outwits us all and his view of the world is either incredibly warped or incredibly sensible. He is perfectly prepared to tell you when you are boring him but also fully aware when his full attention is needed, even though the latter is far outweighed in examples by the first.
I love my friends. I can proudly say I've never fallen out with any of them - really - and the idea of losing any of them is on par with losing both my legs. And an eye.
I went on a lying down sunbed yesterday (for medical rather than cosmetic reasons) and burnt my arse . At least I know it's working.
Inabit!
If someone said the "sun would set for you".... are they being romantic? Or saying you shouldn't be seen in daylight for the safety of all mankind? Ponder on that.
Let me tell you about a friend of mine. He is one of my best friends and one of my favourite people, which don't have to be the same thing. His sarcasm far outwits us all and his view of the world is either incredibly warped or incredibly sensible. He is perfectly prepared to tell you when you are boring him but also fully aware when his full attention is needed, even though the latter is far outweighed in examples by the first.
I love my friends. I can proudly say I've never fallen out with any of them - really - and the idea of losing any of them is on par with losing both my legs. And an eye.
I went on a lying down sunbed yesterday (for medical rather than cosmetic reasons) and burnt my arse . At least I know it's working.
Inabit!
I write poetry too..
Do I offend you
with my obvious lust
Do I annoy you
with my passionate trust
In the system that remains
to give me nothing at all
In the system that ignores
all efforts big or small
Do you give a fuck
what I do with my time
Beyond what effects you
and the niceties that I'm
trying to project
out there in the storm
that I got myself into
and regard as the norm
Whether I like it or not
there is nothing I can do
but try my hardest
to forget about you
You're only a distraction
and even I can see
What a disappointment
you could be to me
So leave me alone
but never leave me, okay?
I don't know the words
I dont know what to say
But I need you
and I dont need you
and I crave you
but I berate you
for the comfort you give me
and how much I rely
on your words of wisdom
and the lies you can try
to tell me to make me
feel better, it's true
but I can't need,
crave or want you
or I'll never get by
and never succeed
with all this want,
craving and need.
with my obvious lust
Do I annoy you
with my passionate trust
In the system that remains
to give me nothing at all
In the system that ignores
all efforts big or small
Do you give a fuck
what I do with my time
Beyond what effects you
and the niceties that I'm
trying to project
out there in the storm
that I got myself into
and regard as the norm
Whether I like it or not
there is nothing I can do
but try my hardest
to forget about you
You're only a distraction
and even I can see
What a disappointment
you could be to me
So leave me alone
but never leave me, okay?
I don't know the words
I dont know what to say
But I need you
and I dont need you
and I crave you
but I berate you
for the comfort you give me
and how much I rely
on your words of wisdom
and the lies you can try
to tell me to make me
feel better, it's true
but I can't need,
crave or want you
or I'll never get by
and never succeed
with all this want,
craving and need.
An Update
I'm currently writing my first full length play. It's based on my own experiences - isn't that always the way?
So, what have I been doing? Allow me to summarize in the form of a list of short, explanatory phrases...
1 - I liked a guy, fell a bit... but he was a, what's the word, oh yeah, a douche.
2 - Had Christmas, ate lots, felt like a stuffed turkey. Appropriately.
3 - NYE mainly consisted of drunkness my friend's describe as "epic" (I thank you).
Antics included:
So, what have I been doing? Allow me to summarize in the form of a list of short, explanatory phrases...
1 - I liked a guy, fell a bit... but he was a, what's the word, oh yeah, a douche.
2 - Had Christmas, ate lots, felt like a stuffed turkey. Appropriately.
3 - NYE mainly consisted of drunkness my friend's describe as "epic" (I thank you).
Antics included:
- Attempting to introduce a friend to her ex's new lover. They'd met before, it was awkward.
- Smoking. But never a full one, about forty million half cigarettes. Which is better. Right?
- Sitting delicately (lie) on the bottom of a town statue and declaring myself completely sober (lie). Loudly.
- Danced to a Justin Beiber song. No I don't know which one. I don't care. Stop reading if you care. For serious.
4 - I have discovered that "inabit" is the new "goodbye"
5 - Also "obviously" is the new "durrr"
6 - I moved to South London and have to get a train to work every morning.
7 - Apart from I don't work there anymore for sanity purposes. Chapter of life be closed.
8 - I lead a revolution in my bedroom.
9 - Re-discovered Charity Shops with my lovely new housemate and old friend H. Bought a handpainted picture of Marilyn Monroe for £2.00 and a silk scarf for £3.00. H got a bag for £2.00. Every shop we walked into went silent at our appearance which I can only put down to H's leopard print coat and my red lipstick and shiny high tops. Perhaps not their usual customer.
10 - Got a kindle and headphones for Christmas. I'm so kitted out on a commute, even I would think I was cool. And I rarely think I'm cool. Seriously. Have you seen me watching Spike on Buffy? No cool person drools.
11 - I now drink a whole mahoosive bottle before I go to sleep. Of water. Should have specified.
12 - I saw a show called Constellations at the Royal Court which was one of the most incredible pieces of theatre I've ever seen.
13 - Managed to win a game of Solitare in under 60seconds. An achievement if there ever was one.
14 - Hair has now grown to below my nipples when they are in the bra. It just hit the nipples when they're not. I'm talking about half an inch, but still - Oh God I'm getting OLD. Too much information?
15 - Got a nose stud that I haven't lost in over a month. Another achievement worth mentioning.
16 - Learnt my Best Friend has got a promotion. I was surprised until I remembered she's amazing. And she is moving in with her boyfriend. I was surprised until... I'm still surprised. He's nice.
I also have started having a re occuring dream where I fly across and then dive, expertly, into a gigantic ocean. Couple of things - I know oceans are pretty gigantic but this was bigger, it's a dream okay? And I can't dive, so that's the nicest bit. I then swim right to the bottom where it's dark and I can't breathe but it's okay. The darkness goes red but is still dark. Then, suddenly I'm on Facebook.
I have issues.
Numb bum = blog done.
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