Ten Things

(I know, I know, you wait and wait for a blog entry and then three come along at once, like buses and orgasms)

Ten things that ain't my bag baby.

1 - Telling someone to "shut their face". An old fashioned shut up or fuck off should suffice.

2 - Slow internet. It's 2012, I just paid 2 British pounds to use this computer, you bastard.

3 - Coffee you hadn't realised had gone cold and subsequently took a large gulp of. Ugh.

4 - Text talk. I'm well old now and texts from my friends should back this up.

5 - Farmville requests from Mother. It's not big and it's not clever and I don't care about the virtual butter churn!

6 - Sexy men who don't find me sexy remotely. What are you for?!

7 - Game releases that subsequently cause 90% of the men in my life to mysteriously vanish.

8 - Racism. It's not cool. I'm a humanist. You're a human. Come here and give me a bloody hug.

9 - Raves, to enjoy them you apparently need a lot of drugs. Throw me in a mosh pit any time, where all you need is long hair and a penchant for brutality.

10 - Sushi. It's just laziness isn't it.

You might describe most of those as "First World Problems". But this isn't Twitter. So hush.